Tips for Managing Overused Strengths
I’ll never forget a lesson I learned in childhood that has applied to me all throughout my adult life. It was autumn, and I was playing outside with my cousins. We collectively decided it would be fun to create a big pile of leaves to jump in, so I flew into action by quickly creating a plan and telling everyone what they should do and how they should do it. I also directed all of them on how they should line up so we could properly take turns. Much to my surprise, they all threw down their rakes, told me I was taking the fun out of it, and walked away. I was perplexed and crushed, but I learned an important lesson. I had overused my leadership strength and instead was a bossy-pants. Instead of gaining buy-in, I had alienated my team and was abandoned.
How often do you find yourself overusing a strength? I find it to be a common topic with my clients. They are good problem solvers, but they solve everyone else’s problems for them. They are efficient with their time but forget to slow down and spend needed connection time with their people. They have strong impulse control but miss out by not taking enough risks. Or they are great organizers but miss opportunities by not being flexible.
If this resonates with you, here are tips to manage overused strengths:
Build Awareness and Reflect – Becoming more aware of when a strength is overused is the first step to getting it under control. When does it happen most? What are the circumstances that trigger it? Who is impacted? Pay attention and write down what you notice over the course of several weeks and reflect on what you have learned.
Ask for Feedback – Reading the room is an important skill, but it is not always easy. Asking others to help you identify when you are overusing a strength and how it impacts them can provide important insights.
Shift Your Mindset – Often times an overused strength is connected to a fear or an unwillingness to let go. Identify what thinking might be holding you back and how you can frame it differently. For example, rather than, “I have to do this myself for it to be done right,” shift to, “Letting some one else do this will help them grow.”
Create New Habits – Often times, our strengths come so natural to us, they are engrained in what we do. To pull back requires concerted effort and new habits. I often recommend deciding what you will do differently and then write it down. Holding yourself accountable to making your identified change over a sustained period of time is key to creating a new habit and changing behavior.
Managing your overused strengths will help level-up your leadership and can be accelerated with executive coaching. If you’d like to learn how I help individuals and organizations accelerate their leadership growth and effectiveness, click this link to schedule a call: https://go.oncehub.com/ShylaAllard or email me at shyla@allardconsultinggroup.com.