One of the Most Important Conversations Leaders Need to Have Are the Difficult Ones
Everyone knew it, but no one said anything. There was one person on the IT team whose lack of communication and unwillingness to accept feedback from colleagues was causing delays and unnecessary difficulties. It was easy to point the finger at the employee, but ultimately, the problem was the CIO who avoided conflict like the plague. The consequences – delayed projects, poor cross-functional collaboration, and diminished morale.
Conflict can be one of the hardest “people issues” to manage, but when it is done well, it builds trust and leads to better outcomes.
I’ve seen this play out with my client, Lauren, who had an employee who was causing cross-functional conflict. Co-workers complained to Lauren about how this employee treated others and always demanded his ideas and priorities be put above everyone else’s. By helping her prepare for a difficult conversation with her employee, she was able to provide constructive, direct feedback that led to positive change. The result was not only a change in the employee’s behavior but a boost in team morale.
The key to Lauren’s success in handling the conflict was effectively delivering a difficult message that resulted in positive change. Here are some tips on how to do this well.
Prepare well. Think through what you will say and how your employee might respond. Writing down your thoughts in advance can help ensure you cover everything and can boost your confidence.
Know the facts. Sometimes the facts can be overshadowed by emotions which can derail a conversation early on. Stating the facts early in a difficult conversation makes it clear what you are addressing.
Acknowledge common ground. Showing empathy can be helpful and disarming when addressing a problem. Acknowledging that something is difficult or that you’ve been in a similar situation helps the recipient to feel understood.
Describe the problem. Once you’ve stated the facts and acknowledged common ground, it is important to be clear on what the behavior is causing. This allows the person receiving the feedback to better understand why it needs to be addressed.
Be clear with what needs to change. Oftentimes, a leader will get “cold feet” about making a clear request for change because it is uncomfortable or feels too harsh, but unless the request is made known, don’t expect much change.
Offer support. One of the most important jobs of a leader is supporting their people. Offering support that empowers the employee to change can make a big difference.
Next time you are tempted to avoid conflict by putting off a difficult conversation, make your plan and leverage these tips. In the end, both you, the employee, and your team will benefit from your willingness to do the hard thing.
If you’d like to learn more about how I help leaders grow their careers and influence, schedule a call at https://go.oncehub.com/ShylaAllard .